No.

No...

It's one of the first words many of us learn outside of "Mama" or "Dada". We've heard it from teachers, and we've definitely heard it on the job search. It sucks being on the receiving end of it, but sometimes it sucks even more when we have to say it. We're socialized to believe that "no" is always negative, but that's not true.

"No" is a boundary. 

If you want to live well, boundaries are necessary. They're essential in every area of your life--work, relationships, personal projects, finances, etc. If you're anything like me, you may feel like you have to explain why you say no.

No, I can't hang out with you this weekend because I have to paint my guest bedroom.  

Nah, I don't want to go on a second date with you because you were an hour late and didn't give a reasonable explanation. 

No, I'm not gonna make the workout because I had a rough day at work. 

We try to dress it up so that it goes over better. We tell ourselves that we have to put a bow on it for the response to be deemed as adequate. Even worse, we sometimes give a vague response or say "yes" because we don't like what potentially comes with the opposing response. 

"No" is a complete sentence.

Some of us become anxious or feel guilty even after we've given an unnecessary explanation.

You know what I think? It's driven by the fear of letting others down or rejection. 

What if they get mad?

What if they keep asking me why?

I'll probably look suspect if I don't follow my response up with something. 

This isn't to say that you should never give someone an explanation. Depending on the relationship, it may be a good idea to give more detail. But you don't need to give a reason to everyone all the time. Say "no" without feeling bad about it so much of the time. 

In actuality, "no" can be meant to protect or open the door to more opportunities. It's not always a bad thing. Once you realize that, you'll say "yes" to "no" more often.